I am an artist living and working in Saint Paul, Minnesota. I find meaning and beauty in little moments and believe that they can add up to a rich, fulfilling life if you pay attention to them. I draw, make cyanotypes on paper and fabric and do some printmaking, currently.
To be honest, I don't know how to tell my story in a concise way. It has always made me anxious to tell stories because I have an abstract brain so I can't keep things linear (which is why I'm terrible at telling jokes). So, I'm going to summarize things here as best I can. Here it goes...
I grew up in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin in a very creative, supportive family. I have always been creative in different ways; from how I decorated my bedroom, to how I dress, to how I think, to what I make with my hands. But, at a young age, I decided I wasn't an artist because I couldn't draw the perfect tree. I thought artists were people who could imagine something and draw it perfectly on paper and I couldn't do that, so up went a mental wall. I have always been very stubborn and strong-willed, which in this case didn't serve me well.
I felt lost for most of my life, unsure of where I fit in, what my purpose was and how to feel at peace in myself. I obsessively searched for meaning in everything. I struggled with deep insecurities, self-hate, an eating disorder, depression, obsessive dating and impulsive life changes while trying to figure myself out. I even got a degree in Philosophy because it was all about searching for meaning and asking questions.
But through all of the searching and wandering, art became the most healing and therapeutic thing for me without even realizing it. Pieces would bubble out of me and it wasn't until after I made them that I felt a release and was able to figure out what they meant to me and what I needed to work through. In the moment, I just felt inspired to create something. I think that's what people mean when they talk about the muse. There is this kind of magical quality to creative energy, the way it moves through each of us and emerges in different ways. It's incredibly powerful but can be sneaky and subtle sometimes so I have learned that I really need to pay attention to it.
After a few important nudges from dear people in my life, I started to embrace being an artist as part of my identity. It felt like a sigh of relief, like I finally could articulate who I was and where I fit in. But that's not to say that suddenly I had it all figured out, it just gave me some clarity and boundaries to keep exploring within.
I used to think that being an artist meant making conceptual work that few could understand. But for me, it's just about being a messy, complicated human and using tools and materials to shape those feelings and experiences into something.
I have come to learn that I love and feel at peace in little moments, like wearing a soft sweater that I found at my favorite thrift store when it's chilly outside, drinking a delicious cup of coffee in the morning in a cute mug, going for a walk with my wife and our dogs, seeing beautiful light, watching birds talk to each other, finding a little feather on the sidewalk while getting into my car, dancing around my kitchen to 90's music, taking a hot bath when my body hurts...little things.
I have also come to learn that I tend to create art when I feel anxious and uncertain. I love colors (and hate colors). I love little details in nature and see personalities in them. I love animals. Being outside calms me down and makes me feel better, no matter what. I love being near water. I am very weird and goofy but feel shy showing that side to most people. I look for and try to create harmony in every situation I'm in. I love seeing people find the things that make them really happy and fulfilled. I love making beautiful things with my hands.
I think of this business as a space for me to keep practicing being more connected to myself and the world in honest, vulnerable, little ways.